"Now I understand: it is friendship, love for another." Everything else can cheat it can't. Everything else can slip away and leave us alone, it can't because it depends on us. I can't tell him: be my friend. But I can say: I will be your friend." (Meša Selimović)
I had and still have very precious conversations and meetings with him. He made me, and still makes me, a better person, richer and happier. With him, and thanks to him, I started to hope again, after the serious and difficult losses of dear people, to trust people and to trust life, to be simple, immediate, honest, direct again, to love more, and to learn again that happiness is only valuable when we share it with others, and that we are only as rich as we learn to give, without expecting anything in return.
I needed new energy and he brought it with him, although good people don't come to us because we need them, but because someone sends them to us for a reason. We just need to "embrace" them.
I often woke up and fell asleep thinking about him, inexhaustible energy, strength, and joy, motivation for more and motivation for better, motivation for writing, and motivation for talking to him and talking to others about him. I have said and heard so many nice things about him, so every time, again and again, I would be proud and happy to know him.
A friend of mine says that the brain is constantly "sharpened" with me, and he always points out to his acquaintances that they must prepare well for a conversation with me. I've never asked him, but I guess he says that because of the way I express my opinions and because of the "sharpness" of my "tongue". 🙂
So with Luka, my brain is constantly "sharpening" because of his wisdom and his intelligence, but I was not ready for any conversation with him, nor did I plan what, at what moment, and how I should say because if I had I would not have said much and neither I wouldn't show most of my emotions. I would hold myself back and limit myself, afraid of how I would be understood, and it's not that Luka isn't broad-minded. Of course, he is. But, regardless, I would have been afraid if I had thought. 🙂
He delights me, among other things, apart from his intelligence, and his modesty towards himself and in relation to his qualities, with his simplicity, character, open spirit and mind, dedication to what he does, and caution. 🙂
Although I would criticize him for his modesty, 🙂 I also consider it a virtue of great, fulfilled, and satisfied people. Modesty allows people to grow and develop because it often contains self-criticism and a desire for advancement, and Luka is constantly "growing".
I remember many conversations and the time that "flew" while I'm in the infirmary. Every meeting and time spent with him is a new energy because time is one of the most valuable things that we give to others. Time cannot be returned, we cannot make up for a lost time, and we cannot slow down its passage, that's why every moment is unrepeatable and unique, a story in itself.
Among the most valuable things we receive from the people we love is time. Because time, apart from not returning, does not speed up. It was given to us and belongs to us forever, regardless of how long something lasted - whether it was one moment, one day, one year, or a lifetime. And a moment can be life and a moment can be an eternity.
The last meeting was preceded by one of our most emotional conversations, of which this is a part:
"Thank You. Every day I thank God for sending You into my life.
- Thank You, Marina. But Dr. Milošević also did a good job, even though it was uncertain and difficult in one period. And we were worried, but it's good that everything ended like that. We worked as a team.
I do not dispute her contribution, but you were there before her and after her, which is logical. Maybe You are still not even aware of what you have done.
- 🙂 Yes, I guided you. We, doctors, do everything we can, but sometimes it's not enough. Someone else decides.
Yes, that’s it, I also survived clinical death, although it wasn't easy at all. After all, there are few people who survive that.
- Yes, but God loves You. And that's good.
🙂 It seems so. Otherwise, I would like to see You on January 23. It can be any day of that week, but I would like it then, if possible.
- We will. Of course, it is possible. I'll be happy to do it. By the way, it's my birthday then. 🙂
I know, of course." (Mutual laughter)
At that moment, I had the feeling that we were already friends because of the mutual gratitude and mutual desire to spend time together because we like it "worked" said, as well as what I sometimes showed, without being aware, at those moments, that I was doing it until he would respond to my sentence addressed to him. 🙂
After all, it's been a long time since no one, from the people dear to me, has freed me from the feeling of shame and withdrawal from Luka, faster and easier, because by nature I really am like that, although it could not be concluded, neither from my public actions nor from "ordinary" of the conversations I lead. This could not be concluded from my public activities, because in the public space, I am direct and unwavering. I learned, at the very beginning of my activism, that it had to be this way so that I would not become an accomplice in injustice and inequality by remaining silent, or yes, even if I didn't have the feeling that it was so.
And rarely, for some time, has anyone made me happy more simply and easily than Luka does: with words, a smile, a meeting, a conversation...
We pressed each other for a long time and it didn't bother me, but it was unusual for me. It has never happened to me before to pierce the one I love so much, even while saying "I love You" to him. I believe that such a situation will not happen to me again. 🙂 This sometimes left me questioning because emotions and attitudes are strong and mixed: from happiness, pride, respect, gratitude, love, anxiety, and indeed trust, not only when it comes to my health, but also to my private life and to me personally. However, I did not distance myself because of the piercing, nor did the piercing diminish my emotions. From meeting to meeting, I became more talkative 🙂 and more direct, and I do this privately with rarely special people and I always feel with whom I can do it.
In December 2022, I wrote this down:
It's not the end of the year yet, but I definitely know who my person of the year is.
If there was an award for the best person HE would get the award, this time, without competition. 🙂
I never waited for special occasions and moments to say or do something. Special moments should be created.
The New Year has not been an important event for me for a long time, but we all have at least one person who marks each year for us. I have him: big and important, insightful, noble, and special.
He is the most beautiful thing that happened to me in 2022 because I still believe that if it wasn't for him, my life wouldn't exist either.
If by any chance I could choose a doctor in January, I could not have chosen a better one. And I'm not complaining that somehow he chose me. 🙂
In this year, no one has brought so many smiles to my face, and awakened the most beautiful emotions and pride, as he did, even in periods when I was physically unwell and with serious mental health challenges, due to the environment, conditions, and after all, the fact that I stayed for a long time in the hospital. I can often say that I would be bored if I were on a world trip after five months. When he would appear in the room, I would just have a smile on my face while he was there. And he knows it. As he knows that he is important and especially dear to me.
And I know this will take a long time. The year with him has "only" begun. And it will almost be a year since we have known each other.
In a word, Luka, my guardian angel.❤
After all, it is no coincidence that his name is Luka. Religious or Greek, however, you interpret it, is synonymous with wonderful things.
And if I were to write the text again, I would only "strengthen" the sentences about him.
Infinity.
…
A text that was read more than 15,000 times in less than a month, and a text for which I received hundreds of calls and messages, including calls and messages from people I don't know, as well as comments in English, with a request to forward the text for translation. in a local library in London and due to being forwarded to magazines, such as Attitude is Everything. I still receive messages and comments, of which I am most pleased by the messages of people who write to me that the text has restored their will to live, that it has strengthened them, and that they read it several times. That was exactly the goal. Otherwise, I would not have published it before the publication of the book because there is too much of my life exposed to the public. 🙂 A text that made people laugh and cry while reading it. A text whose parts have been quoted and shared on social networks for days, with a link to the entire text. And let it be and should be read and shared, certainly not least because of me, although I know that for years I have had a significant number of diverse people who follow my work and read my author's texts. It should be read for the sake of life, for the sake of faith in people, for the knowledge that there are wonderful people among us and that there are also great doctors, whom we should trust because, among other things, they did not choose that profession primarily for the sake of money, at least not in Montenegro, but they chose, precisely, because of life. We should thank them, we should support them and we should praise them, everywhere, always, and in front of everyone. We are not and will not be less valuable, nor are we weak, if we do that. A kind word costs nothing, and it can change the lives of many. And I know it changes lives.
Luka is a new and new inspiration again and again. Infinitely happy and infinitely grateful in the belief that everything wonderful, the most wonderful, will return to him because with him and for him, it cannot be otherwise.
Among the many messages and many comments on this post from December, including almost 100 messages from people I don't know, and because of this post, I also received a few comments and a few messages from friends that I single out, without diminishing the importance of the others.
"You are wonderful and a great motivation for many of us!" ❤ And greetings to Luka, it is important to have good doctors, not only experts but also human support when it is most needed..."
"Good for you and Luka. The cosmos sings when good energies are paired wherever."
The next comment was sent by both mine and Luka’s acquaintance: “Luka is a wonderful and smart creature and an excellent doctor. Even as a child, he was like that, but he was not a doctor. 🙂"
In November, after the publication of the text Living a life, among the hundreds of comments and messages, the messages and comments I received from longtime acquaintances made the biggest impression on me:
"I've been thinking very often lately... wondering why you’re not there with the good messages in your statuses... Now I'm reading this and I'M VERY GLAD BECAUSE OF YOUR RECOVERY, STRENGTH, AND COURAGE THAT ALWAYS EMERGED FROM YOU! Thank you for the message of hope and faith, because when someone is going through difficult life periods (as I am now), words like this immediately encourage! Long live to us for 100 years, always smiling!❤"
"I've been thinking about you constantly since January." I can't tell you how happy I am every time I see your social media posts. And what an announcement."
"You brought tears to my eyes... As someone who has been working for a long time as a doctor, I know for sure that you help many people through texts like this... It really means a lot to people. You're wonderful.❤"
"Dear Marina,
I read the text and for the umpteenth time, I learned the most important lessons of life.
I congratulate you on the courage to overcome everything and the humanity to share the details with us.
We can learn from you, which I do.
She was alive and well for 100 years!!!
Good luck!!!"
“Marina, I wish you many, many years of enjoying life and lots of friends." Because whoever doesn't learn something from you, whoever doesn't love you, doesn't know anything about life or love! You know the most important thing. We love you. Hug your Loptica!❤"
"Great, great. You're here to set standards and raise the bar."
At least you always inspire me to be better."
"Dear, brave and special girl, first I cried, and in the end, I give you credit for your strength and optimism!"
"Maki, your kindness, your cheerful spirit overcome all obstacles." He understood that the world would be boring without you, without your antics. 🙂
Only the brave can do this!!! ❤ "
And let there be one criticism addressed to me 🙂 from a friend who says that the brain is constantly "sharpening" with me. He shared the text, with the post:
"Of course, Marina and I love each other very much, and although she introduced me to all the details, I read the text again with pleasure. However, in the text, she left out the moment that brought tears to my eyes: The moment of the first meeting with Loptica after five months. There was room for that passage as well because it talks about love and attachment. Afterward, I wondered if it was realistic that Loptica would make me cry, and apart from the happiness I felt because of the meeting with Marina, I thought that nothing else would be able to touch me."
The following message, which I single out, I received from the only superior I had in my life 🙂, a former Minister, on whose proposal I was elected secretary of state, before my "escape" from the state administration:
"The text you published today is wonderful. Gorgeous. Even in the elements where you talk about ugly things, it's wonderful because it's a wonderful, warmly human story that could happen to anyone. Especially the story about Loptica"
And finally, I would like to highlight a humorous message from a friend and former colleague, and I especially like such because of my nature and my character:
"You are my idol! What will you be when you grow up." 🙂 It's obvious that I will be disobedient, rebellious, and unbearable, that's why I'm not in a hurry to grow up. I'm still somewhat forgiven for being so short. 😉 I’ve loved my height since I was fifteen. I would change, just let the "head and heart continue to grow."
Just as many people were encouraged and strengthened by my story, I was also happy with many comments and messages from other people because they confirmed that everything was worth it. And they made me equally happy, whether they related to my experiences and attitude towards life, whether they related to Luka or my dog, because the message we showed, through our behavior and engagement, is gratitude, love for life, and love for another.
"I feel best among simple people in front of whom I can throw away my armor, forget complexes and caution, with whom I can laugh, say everything I think, without fear of being misunderstood. Fortunately, there are such people, and I am always unusually happy for them." (Meša Selimović)
It's the same with Luka, there is no armor with him, and there is no caution either because I don't give myself space for it. 🙂 And I'm smiling and I'm not afraid and I'm happy and looking forward to him. And for a beautiful and fulfilling life, none of us needs anything more than that.
He does not need a reward, he has one, the most important one, a reward for his life's work, his and for himself, and then those works are passed on to others. He conveys them with ease. No one has to formally award him that award, but no one can take it away from him either. Because "what is it worth to a man to gain the whole world, if he loses his soul." (The Bible)
Or, motivated again by Selimović, I would say that I cannot ask him to be my friend, nor should we seek friends, and they come to us like love. Although I think that he is already my friend and support, I certainly know that I can be his friend, that I am, and that I will be his friend. The one who will be happy at every moment of meeting and communicating with him.
And we can't love our life either if we don't love everything in it, everything that makes it live, and the people in it because of whom we remain human or because of whom we became better people. Life is not just birth, living, and dying. Life is the moments we remember, the people we love, the creatures we care for, the works we create, and the paths we walk, and life is also the traces we leave behind.
Today, by the way, is a year since we met, or a year since he saw me live for the first time. I don't remember that day, I remember better days, better for me, although it's clear that I was lucky that day, I was really lucky. 😉 Someone smiled at me that day, someone who observes everything and who follows everything, and someone who knows how much we all can endure both beautiful situations and beautiful experiences and those that are not beautiful and that is challenging and painful. I always carry that someone with me and carry him inside me. I often joke and say that someone winked at me and has been winking at me not only since last year, but since birth, and that's when I rushed into this world and arrived at seven months old. That someone winked at me even when I chose more difficult paths to "get" to where I am now, from education and formal and informal, independence, type of work... That's why I say that life brought me up, although I am grateful to my parents for their advice, for being a role model, and for support. Then I also look at the sky, wink and move on, with the fact that this time someone else saw and heard all this, my beautiful Luka, who occupied a particularly important place in my life. That's why I regularly and am allowed to continue the thread so that it is not interrupted.
Year one. A valuable year. It will remain marked as particularly important in my life calendar. And it doesn't matter how long life lasts, what matters is what life is like. As Gandhi said: "Live as if you will die tomorrow." Study as if you will live forever."
And this life is wonderful and it has been wonderful until now. A lot of beautiful, unforgettable, and valuable things were experienced and survived in it. That's why you should live it, and not just live it, that's why you should also love it, and not blame it for the absence of happiness. That's why all my lives are wonderful.
"I'm not asking for anything, just remind me to breathe and remind me that there are those who don't breathe anymore." (Meša Selimović)
Marina Vujačić
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